I don’t know how a heart can close so quickly And I never believed that I could know someone so deeply in such a short time And not the way we often throw ourselves into other humans with such desperation that we imagine we know them, shaping their image around our own stories and needs, But in a way that when I heard your voice for the first time, it felt familiar and like I had heard it a million times before. Like the way the parts of me that have always been so closed felt the warmth of you and opened with generosity and vulnerability. Like the way I felt seen and safe and sometimes broken but always beautiful And I never asked myself as I pulled back the layers, ”Am I worthy? Am I enough?” I trusted the process and the pull of the universe and I surrendered And I don’t know how a heart can close so quickly, I only know that in a matter of hours vulnerability was replaced with fear, warmth replaced with cold, familiarity replaced with a stranger Who had once felt like someone I had known in another lifetime and now felt like someone I had never known at all.
April 25, 2021